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“People hate that I flip two cigarettes
Upside down in each pack
for luck,
But I hate that people notice
When you gain three pounds,
But not when you buy a new hat.
I’ve been told that the way I sleep
With one leg draped over
The person lying next to me
Is annoying,
But I think it’s annoying
When people tell me
I look pretty,
But only when I paint my face.
I’ve heard that old men
Like to touch the girls who work late at bars,
But I want to know
Why they never kiss the women they married
fourty-two years ago.
I’ve noticed that mothers teach their daughters
That it’s rude to refuse a hug
From an uncle they’ve met three times,
But forget to teach them
That they aren’t obliged to kiss
The boy who paid for dinner.”

(thewriterandthewildflower)

I find this so incredibly beautiful and real

this is so simple yet it means so much. it’s incredible

(via earthlyvibes)

(via livefaast-dieyoung)

I’m SO glad I have a mom that can make jokes in serious situations. Like mother like daughter :) as I’m getting my mug shot she is in the hallways saying “free headshots!” I don’t know what I would do without her in times like this




"Hi mom! Happy Mother’s Day! Um … Can you come bail me out of jail."

And best daughter award goes to …





(Source: seblester, via thedevilstongue)



(via dessertattiffanys)



(Source: newgamepressstart, via fuckyeah1990s)



(Source: 6-1-4, via fuckyeah1990s)




lolerzz:

the good news is that i had time to stop for a frappe

(via hayley0614)



"Dude, you just ran like 13 miles in 30 minutes."

(Source: mysnarkasm, via hayley0614)



calantheandthenightingale:

averygneissblog:

yesimnotnormal:

canyoushipit:

darkxbunnyprincess:

This is one of my favorite childhood stories.

WHAT THE FUCK

still remember those stories

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SPOOKY STORY

THIS BOOK WAS MY CHILDHOOD!  And I will never not reblog this story.

(Source: sugarcoatedagony, via hayley0614)